Up until a couple of weeks ago, I was crazy happy. Nothing fazed me, nothing stressed me out. I was able to shrug off anything and just breathe it out, but recently everything has been getting on top of me and I’ve been feeling super stressed. However, when I stop and look at each stress individually, I realise that a lot of it is something that I cannot control and therefore there is not point in worrying about it. It is the accumulation of little stresses that can cause a breakdown. It’s about having too much going on in your head. You have to get it out. My way of doing this is to write a list. Once I can visualise the issues, they seem so small on paper and you can easily dismiss their power further by writing a solution or a cancellation next to them.
For example, next to ‘work’ I wrote “work is 9-6pm Mon-Fri”. That’s just my way of reminding myself that Sunday lunchtime isn’t the time to think about what needs to be tackled on Monday morning. The same goes for worrying about my boyfriend’s work schedule and when we’ll get to spend more time together. I wrote ‘out of my hands’ next to it. I can’t control that so there’s no point in stressing about it.
My life 7-8 months ago and my life now are total chalk and cheese, for want of a better phrase. I’m in a happy, secure relationship. I have a great job with responsibility and respect. I have an amazing group of friends around me. I know where I want to be in a year’s time – finally – and funnily enough, I don’t want any of the above to have changed between now and then.
So I need to sort out my finances – what 26 year old doesn’t in London? – and find somewhere to live that is cheaper and closer to work. I have a plan for both of those things. You can’t take one leap and reach a long-term goal. You have to complete all of the small steps and stages along the way. And actually, I’m fine with that.